Glamour and Shitz

Well the day has finally arrived. Today was my day off and date night - going out for dinner with a man a friend set me up with.

I thought my day would be relaxing with a hint of glamour. How wrong could i be ?

Starbucks was the first stop of the day. A cute group of four. Two twenty something's and two thirty something's. One of whom is expecting her first baby imminently.

Three ladies. One gay guy, my quintessential fabulous male accessory, who as it happens is officially one of the hottest men in Wales according to a paper that I have officially fallen out with . Well one of the journalist's to be honest, that is a whole other story so will update you all people on that soon.



We are all very different, all beyond fabulous and each of us has success in our own right in the professions we do, so Starbucks was a wonderful start to the day.



Then Gay Best Friend (GBF for short) and I headed into town after our rendez-vous at 'Bucks.



I sell make-up for a company in a well known department store and the company owner was visiting so all of the team were required to have a one to one.



GBF and I got instore, had a chat with some colleagues, some male (described by GBF as "camp as biscuits . Note - GBF is not camp in any way, the nearest he gets to that is spending a night under nylon with a sleeping bag). Then we headed to the lovely Miss J. on YSL for GBF to try out the male Touche Eclat.



A must for the morning after late night's for all of us who need a little light on their face. Even as a leading medium working with the light needs a touch of touche.



GBF had a make over, very glamourous, he had a new product on his face and bought the Touche Eclat for men. I told you he was not camp !



Of course we were given some samples of other products, which included, oddly enough , a few random packets of Cadbury's Clusters.



Obviously, Miss J on YSL knows Gay men and women, Touche Eclat, chocolate and make up - what more could one want on a trip into town !!!



Then I had my high brow meeting with owner and manger. Very positive all round although sadly our stand is closing in the Cardiff Store. However, a girl always has options right ?



Then GBF and I parted company and I went home, got my blue / grey cat and took him to the vets.



The cat in question is like Lindsay Lohan and Posh Spice with fur. I never ever thought I would be jealous of a cat's hips, I AM !



The cat Moses (the holy name came in useful, explanation to follow) eats all the time and cries incessantly for food. Clearly something is amiss as he is as skinny as and his tummy is really hard and swollen.



The vet told me his stomach was empty !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like the pouches of food after he polishes them off. The cat was also dehydrated.



Vet took samples of blood from his neck as opposed to the leg (how gothic) and then gave him fluids to hydrate him via a drip !!!



I then asked the vets for tablets that would treat shock, she looked at me perplexed. I explained they were not for the cat they were actually for the owner. As the bill was nearly £100 !



Bang goes the new outfit for next weeks aftershow party of the Dave Courtney tour. Bugger !!!



Then the Vet informs me as she hands me a sample bottle - I need to collect a sample of Moses' poo !!!!!!!!!!!!!!



You want his shit ?? He poos something that resembles a melted minstrel as it is just a splash !



OMG !



From the glamour to shit !



How one needed him to have a holy name - we needed to pray to the money God's after that.



The punchline ...



Vet still does not know what is wrong with him. We definitely know it is not hyperthyroidism as his tests for that were negative.



After nearly an hour at the Vet's we returned home. I dropped Moses off and got the dog.



I needed some retail therapy , my guess was the dog did too as it was the weekend.



Dog and I went to Pets at Home. When I got to the cashier, I noticed they were selling the "fire engine" cat play house featured in The Apprentice on BBC1.



I was chatting to the friendly cashier about the Apprentice product on display and asked if they were stocking the leads also featured on the programme.



I felt the dog pulling on her lead and I attempted to pull her back, she seemed reluctant to move.



No wonder ! The filthy minx was having a poo right in front of the queue of other customer's and the cashier .



OMG - I was beyond mortified.



Friendly cashier was now treating me like, well what had just exited the dog's bum. I did offer to clean it up instead of the poor man that had run over with bags to scoop up the offending lumps.



He refused. One act of gallantry cannot be bad in one day, even though it included dog excrement.



Dog and I left sharpish.



The cat , however, was refusing to poo at all, despite the amount of food I gave to him when we got in.



Honestly, I swear the animals KNOW ! They do !



My pets did a conspiracy theory yesterday for poo.



Hence the day was glamour to shitz.



Or as "Mr How is this man single" described it



"catastrophic"



Or as I said "crapastrophic"

The next day, Moses gave us the parting we had all wanted not of the red sea so we got the sample to the vets.

Well Charlotte York-Goldenblatt may have had pudding her prada in Sex and the City, here at Sex and the Psychic, we push the boundaries......

L-C has poo in her prada.